Blog

Alone

I am rarely alone these days. It’s not good. It felt dangerous to be alone this week. When I was, every ounce of bottled emotion released its fury. My throat tightened. My stomach knotted. I forgot how to …

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Vertical Ascent

I’m pulling out the chains and opening up the dungeon door. Fear, this stalking enemy, must be stopped. Contained. Rendered useless. Left to prowl, he will rob me of the joy that is mine – mine for this …

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Quality Control

Josh’s life is held in the hands of God. Mine, too. Yours is no exception. The quality of Josh’s life is dependent upon high flow oxygen and a 24-hour a day pain pump. The quality of my …

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Refuge

Retreat has had two primary focuses in my life: Offensive. Defensive. I retreat to refuel—to tank up—as I run the race. I retreat to find refuge when battered and worn. My day away could not have been …

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Come Away

I’m in a good place. A God place. But that doesn’t mean I’m in a great place. The spin cycle is brutal. I land on my feet most days, but the constant pounding of the agitator (that …

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Little Brother

Big brother. Little brother Josh has 3 younger brothers (and a younger sister), but only one little brother. Noah is 12 and he and Josh have shared a room for years. They have a love-hate relationship, but …

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Precious Memories

There are seasons in life, journeys we take, that leave us with only enough breath to whisper.  We can, then, be most grateful that pictures really do speak louder than words. Josh and Mama, “in the arms …

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On assignment

We have a special agent among us. I have come to believe Josh is on assignment. And God is not finished with him yet. As a family, we found ourselves sitting on the front porch of heaven …

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Front Porch

The free fall has ended. In the span of 11 days, our 19 year old son Joshua, went from being in the hospital (“you are too sick to treat at home” on Monday) to being admitted into …

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Embarking

From my journal:  Thursday, August 15 I am taking off my shoes. It’s holy ground time. The decision of our Ft. Wayne doctors to move Josh into Palliative Care magnifies the preciousness of every moment. Life and …

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