This past December it came to my attention that two people I dearly love are being crushed and broken by a marriage that has been in turmoil for years, flying silently and painfully under the radar. The depth of brokenness and despair has left me reeling.
They are not alone. Many of us in the church are living lives of silent loneliness and resignation.
Relational stress (marriage, child, friend/relative) drains the life out of the core of our being, erects thick walls and shatters our dreams. It likely impacts our ability to “rest well” like nothing else.
Cortisol overload kicks in from the get-go. If the tension is on-going and not properly attended to, we suffer. Joy evaporates. Sadness creeps into depression, aggression, anxiety, contempt. We lose sleep. Gain weight. Indulge in self-medicating behaviors, whether it’s work, play or drug-of-choice.
Some of us today are living this broken dream.
- A marriage half-baked and far from satisfying because of emotional neglect, spiritual disengagement, and a dozen other painful realities.
- Children, young or old, who are angry, distant and unresponsive.
- Co-workers/friends who are edgy, sarcastic, confusing, toxic.
We’ve all been there. Some of us are living in this place right now. We’ve got the wounded heart to prove it.
Along the way, I have been touched, encouraged, convicted, challenged and witnessed healing, set into motion, through dedicated ministries that are passionate about God’s work in people’s lives.
It’s time for the rubber to hit the road. With which current relationship from your life are you most wounded or scarred? What are you doing about it? Are you living in resignation?
With whom do you live an unsatisfying truce? Where do you have no hope for something better?
The Author of life is the Healer of broken relationships.
The work is hard. It’s hard because it has our name on it. We can’t change the other person, we can only change ourselves.
If you want something more, it begins with you. Add to that clarity, wisdom and the power of God, and change will take place. It may not be what you want, but God will bring beauty from the ashes.
The ministries below are places where I have found help and hope for myself and those I love. Explore the websites for yourself or someone in your life (an adult child, co-worker or friend). The Lord may open a door for you to share some Christ-centered direction or words of wisdom with a weary soul.
GREAT news! No matter where you live around the world, these ministries equip believers with free, dynamite articles, videos and tools that transform. Some even provide coaching, encouragement and support via Skype or phone calls. Help and hope are there for the taking.
There are no quick fixes, but God, our Jehovah Jireh, provides. In the family of God, we are not alone.
These strategic ministries offer transformational help and hope.
- For broken (or less than) marriages . . . at the Marriage Recovery Center
- For tension with your children . . . at the National Center for Biblical Parenting
- For tension with your adult children . . . at the Empowering Parents – Child Behavior Help
- For toxic friendships . . . a great article from WebMD
Onward. Eyes on Jesus. We will find rest for our souls.
Thank you for sharing this! I needed to be reminded that there is HOPE!
Amen. Amen. Amen!
I’m so there in so many ways with 2 adult children and marriage because of children & grandchildren.
Diana – Check out those sites. Lots of gifts there.
Lifting up a prayer for you and those you love — right now!
Brenda
Thank you.
I’m feeling led to share this with a friend who recently hurt me in a big way. Is it ok to copy and paste this email to her?
Thank you!
Gloria Knapp
Gloria, You sure can.
I pray it is a platform for reconciliation and a fresh start!
Lifting up a prayer right now to the One who guides, heals and restores.
Onward.
Brenda
I often find it difficult. Difficult to speak truth. Difficult to change the direction I’m headed in. How do you speak to an adult child and tell them how they are hurting you….instead of helping? How do you stop care taking and take care of yourself? How do you say “no” when your answer will further hurt your relationship, leave you on a street corner, bring harm to grandchildren? These are spiritual questions and must be answered by my Spiritual Leader. Only when I go to God, will I find hope, resources, answers. The Holy Spirit is the only One up for that job….but until resolution….there is pain. He is able to help me there also.
Brenda,
I finally found and made time to look up some of the above sights. Wow I loved what was said on the adult children sights. I even printed off the Our living agreement hoping to sit down with our newest adult child and fill it out. I did something similar with other adult children but not to this degree. Please pray for me as I try to help her grow up to be come the adult God has intended her to be.
Diana – Prayers!
These sites have been gifts to me. We praise the Lord — they are speaking into your life with tools that open new doors.
Brenda