By Brenda Jank
It has been a hard go the last couple of weeks, my friends.
Our son, Josh, who is in hospice care, lost the ability to swallow.
We discovered that Josh has metastasized esophageal cancer. A stent was placed to allow him to swallow again.
We are humbled and grateful for this quality-of-life care and support.
Hard is far from over.
Last night I was broken. Mad. Overwhelmed – grieving deeply for all that has been lost in the mayhem.
Grieving for what lies ahead.
And that is okay.
It is more than okay.
Grief work can be ugly and unpredictable. It can take us to unfamiliar, unwanted places.
It can leave us gutted.
But it is also pit-defying.
We might land in the deepest, darkest pit – hard – with a thud that shakes our soul and our bones.
But we land on our back! And by God’s grace, we see a speck of light.
Hope, even far away, remains.
I can’t run right now. Some hours, it’s hard to walk. Some moments it is hard to breathe.
The image of being carried – has carried me.
I brought my old Bible with me to the hospital last week.
It is tear stained and has little white space left for notes.
I have met Jesus in the darkest nights in this book.
I was all over the place this morning, but I landed in Deuteronomy 33:12
Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long,
and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders. (NIV 1983)
May we be carried when we need to be carried, so we can run when we need to run.
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Brenda Jank and the Run Hard. Rest Well. team are thought leaders in the arena of Restorative Wellness. Find additional resources at www.RunHardRestWell.org. Contact us at: Brenda@runhardrestwell.org
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