From My Journal

By Brenda Jank

I love Psalm 26.2-3
Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind. For your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.

I like this quote, too. 
“Knowledge has a love affair with answers. Wisdom has a love affair with questions.” – Julio Olalla

As a routine, I try to move out of autopilot, hit pause, and ask myself good questions, typically early in the morning with pen and paper in hand.

As a family, we are going through a season of HARD. 

A few weeks ago I jotted down 4 questions. They have paved the way to a truck load of very good stuff for me and my heart.
What do I need?
 What do I want?
What do I not want?
What do I need from You?
Here’s a sneak peek at my journal from Sunday, October 22nd. 
Every time I answer these 4 questions it looks exceedingly different.

What do I need?

  • Only one answer – You.

What do I want?

  •  I want to shine a light on You in this dark space.
  •  I want the suffering of my children to have limits.
  •  I want to not gain 15 pounds.
  •  I want sunshiny days to sit outside and watch hundreds, thousands of leaves fall from the trees in the breeze. (My affection for the fall runs deep. We’ve had a lot of rain. Sunshine is forecasted for this week. I know where I need to be, even with a to-do list screaming for attention. It is an extravagant delight for me to spend an hour with Jesus under a canopy of falling leaves.)
  • I want to not forget that You are here.

What do I not want?

  •  I’m not sure today.
  •  Oh! I do not want to lose any more things (keys and credit card top the list at the moment).
  • I do not want to be afraid.

What do I want from You?
I answer this question with two things in mind. 1) the serenity prayer 2) a particular person.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

On Sunday, nobody surfaced as I thought through this question. So the space was blank.

So this, my friends, is one page from my journal Sunday morning.

There are other pages. Many things to pour over these days as I pray, process, and ponder.

Ah! I spent the most remarkable time in 2 Corinthians 4
God did my soul good.
If you dig in sometime this week, you won’t be disappointed.


Brenda Jank and the Run Hard. Rest Well. team are thought leaders in the arena of Restorative Wellness. Find additional resources at www.RunHardRestWell.org. Contact us at: Brenda@runhardrestwell.org

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